I am thrilled to share with you a fantastic post from one of my Happy Entrepreneur Clients:
It’s hard to ask for what you want, especially if you’ve experienced people saying no to you a lot, maybe it started in your childhood or all through out your life.
I always love referring back to this line from Create Your Best Year Audiobook, “as adults you now have the choice to make life easier for yourself and give yourself what you want”.
Traditional philosophy would tell us that we might need to reframe or rephrase the way we are asking for something if we are not getting what we want from someone. Yes, it’s possible!
However, I want to offer you something deeper to consider, an idea I have learned from the “congruent communication” philosophy. Ask yourself and only you, why do I want or need this right now?
Go ahead and actually answer the question, ideally in writing or in a journal if you have one. A random piece of paper would do just fine; the idea is to get out of your head. Keep asking yourself the question until you get yourself to an answer, of something you can give to yourself.
Be willing to give this to yourself as soon as possible. More often than not, what we may need is to express love to ourselves in whatever form we need it at the moment. This is usually what we are requiring from others.
The problem is, that when we rely on others to give us what we want, without the congruency of knowing why we want something and taking radical responsibility before hand to have the willingness to give this to ourselves, we become targets of falling into the ‘needy’ category, and no one wants to feel or called ‘needy’ or even worse, becoming the person who points the finger of judgment on those who refuse to give us what we are asking for.
Commit to your own clarity and provision of what you want and need. Realize that the expression of love of some type might be all you really need. This can come in the form of going to workout, writing in your journal, prayer, and meditation or getting work done that you have been avoiding. Insert your own idea of how you can best give yourself that which you seek. Watch; just watch the universe deliver it to you, through you and in unexpected packages. You hold the deep answer to what you want and the provision to satisfy it yourself.
Blurb about me:
Clara Angelina Diaz is a master life coach, who empowers professional women to increase their confidence and income, through the discovery of their life’s purpose., developing a positive and powerful mindset to achieve personal greatness.
She is the author of the audiobook program, Create Your Best Year (One Day at A Time) she is a new first time moms, who loves to remind other women that they have the power to achieve what they want most.